Monday, October 27, 2008
Fun.
I am John Benson (Esq.), a solicitor from The United Kingdom. I was given yourcontact by my late client, Dr. Maurice Wohl. Please get back to me as soon aspossible. I have an important message for you. Regards, John Benson (Esq.)
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Hello there, is there a problem?
Please give my deepest condolences to his family on my behalf.
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On behalf of the Trustees and Executor of the estate of Late Dr. Maurice Wohl (hereafter referred to as "My Client"), I wish to notify you that late Dr. Maurice Wohl made you a beneficiary to his WILL. He bequeathed the sum of Thirty Million, One Hundred Thousand Dollars (USD$30,100,000.00) to you in the Codicil and last testament to his WILL. This may sound strange and unbelievable to you, but it is real and true.
Been a widely travelled man, my client must have been in contact with you in the past or you were probably nominated to him by one of his numerous friends abroad who wished you good.
Until his death, the Late Dr. Maurice Wohl was a prominent British Jewish philanthropist who was known the world over for his generousity. He had long been active in philanthropic causes both in Israel, Britain and beyond, and was honoured with the title; "Trustee of Jerusalem". He was also honoured in Britain as Commander of Order of the British Empire (CBE) in 1992, amongst several others. My client and his late wife, Vivienne; were however childless before her unfortunate demise in April 2005. Dr. Wohl died on the 1st day of July, 2007 at the age of 84 years (1923-2007), and his WILL is now ready for execution.
According to my late client, the money bequeathed to you is for continuation of his philantropy and also to support your humanitarian activities as well as helping the poor and the needy in our society. Therefore, kindly endeavor to get back to me as soon as possible to enable me conclude my job. I hope to hear from you in no distant time.
Your's in service,
Barr. John Benson (Esq.)
Tel: +44-703-190-7669
(Managing Partner)
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Oh yes, Dr Maurice, we were such wonderful friends! I'm am very sorry to hear of his demise. Of course I'd help his philanthropic cause, as I have once promised him. Please, if I could be of any assistance, do not hesitate to contact me for further details.
Edmund Wang
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We acknowledge the receipt of your return correspondence in this chamber and wish to inform you that you have absolute right to reject this WILL as much as you have the right to accept it. If you wish to turn it down, notify my office immediately so I can send you a WILL rejection form to fill and revert back. I will not impose it on you but, be rest assured that I am only playing my role as principal executor of my client's WILL and Last Testament.
Prefix me to state that the late Dr. Maurice Wohl must have known that you will put the money to good use for the less privileged and that is why you were selected. Also, understand that I don't know you neither have I met you before, but my contacting you is based on the recommendation of my late client.
Be further informed that the funds will not be released to you without some proper identification. Like I mentioned before, I have never met you, so to be able to carry out our duties effectively as sole executors of the WILL of late Dr. Maurice Wohl, we must be convinced that you are who the testament says you are.
Based on the foregoing, please re-confirm to us the following informations; YOUR COMPLETE CONTACT DETAILS INCLUDING YOUR FULL NAME AND ADDRESS, TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS, AGE, SEX, OCCUPATION AND A SCANNED COPY OF YOUR IDENTIFICATION (DRIVER'S LICENSE OR PHOTO PAGE OF YOUR INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT). You are also to indicate if you changed residence within the last six months; (Indicate the old and new address accordingly) for verification with what I have in my file. Any difference or discrepancies in the information provided by you will imply that I have contacted the wrong person and will therefore cease all correspondence with you outrightly.
Be informed that the informations provided will be verified and confirmed by the Probate Department of the Royal Courts of Justice here in England, where a Probate Order will be rightly issued for your legal claim of this bequest/funds. This document, as well as a copy of the WILL of my Late Client; Dr. Maurice Wohl will then be released to you. This guarantees your status as the true beneficiary of my Late client's WILL and gives you the legal backing to receiving the funds.
It is hoped that the above requirements will be sent to us sooner than later to enable us proceed with the documentation. And note that we cannot send any document to you until we are fully convinced that you are the true beneficiary. As a practicing lawyer, you must be informed of the fact that I am on a very tight and busy schedule with regards to the various legal assignments handled by my humble self; therefore, I must crave your indulgence towards ensuring that this process is concluded speedily as time is of utmost essence to my profession.
I await your most urgent response.
Note: We are not demanding any money or form of payment from you for our service as we have been fully paid by my late client. All we need is for you to comply with our directives to make sure your funds are fully transferred.
Your's in service,
Barr. John Benson (Esq.)
Tel: +44-703-190-7669
(Managing Partner)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh shucks, I'm only 12 I don't have any identification. Oh my fucking gawd, and I please have the three million? Pretty please? ):
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
May I inform you that I have the complete details of the rightful beneficiary to this bequest in my Late client's beneficiary file, so please do not fool around with me except you are not the rightful beneficiary.
Therefore, I will once again advice that you get the requested informations to me immediately as I am only carrying out the mandate and brief as passed on to me by my Late client prior to his demise.
Your's in service,
Barr. John Benson (Esq.)
Tel: +44-703-190-7669
(Managing Partner)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Does that mean I can't get the money? Please i really need that 3 million dollars. I need to feed my family of hamsters, they need sunflower seeds. Please dear sir, I'm not fooling with you. I don't want my hamsters to be hungry. Sir have sympathy!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello there, is there a problem?
Please give my deepest condolences to his family on my behalf.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
On behalf of the Trustees and Executor of the estate of Late Dr. Maurice Wohl (hereafter referred to as "My Client"), I wish to notify you that late Dr. Maurice Wohl made you a beneficiary to his WILL. He bequeathed the sum of Thirty Million, One Hundred Thousand Dollars (USD$30,100,000.00) to you in the Codicil and last testament to his WILL. This may sound strange and unbelievable to you, but it is real and true.
Been a widely travelled man, my client must have been in contact with you in the past or you were probably nominated to him by one of his numerous friends abroad who wished you good.
Until his death, the Late Dr. Maurice Wohl was a prominent British Jewish philanthropist who was known the world over for his generousity. He had long been active in philanthropic causes both in Israel, Britain and beyond, and was honoured with the title; "Trustee of Jerusalem". He was also honoured in Britain as Commander of Order of the British Empire (CBE) in 1992, amongst several others. My client and his late wife, Vivienne; were however childless before her unfortunate demise in April 2005. Dr. Wohl died on the 1st day of July, 2007 at the age of 84 years (1923-2007), and his WILL is now ready for execution.
According to my late client, the money bequeathed to you is for continuation of his philantropy and also to support your humanitarian activities as well as helping the poor and the needy in our society. Therefore, kindly endeavor to get back to me as soon as possible to enable me conclude my job. I hope to hear from you in no distant time.
Your's in service,
Barr. John Benson (Esq.)
Tel: +44-703-190-7669
(Managing Partner)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh yes, Dr Maurice, we were such wonderful friends! I'm am very sorry to hear of his demise. Of course I'd help his philanthropic cause, as I have once promised him. Please, if I could be of any assistance, do not hesitate to contact me for further details.
Edmund Wang
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We acknowledge the receipt of your return correspondence in this chamber and wish to inform you that you have absolute right to reject this WILL as much as you have the right to accept it. If you wish to turn it down, notify my office immediately so I can send you a WILL rejection form to fill and revert back. I will not impose it on you but, be rest assured that I am only playing my role as principal executor of my client's WILL and Last Testament.
Prefix me to state that the late Dr. Maurice Wohl must have known that you will put the money to good use for the less privileged and that is why you were selected. Also, understand that I don't know you neither have I met you before, but my contacting you is based on the recommendation of my late client.
Be further informed that the funds will not be released to you without some proper identification. Like I mentioned before, I have never met you, so to be able to carry out our duties effectively as sole executors of the WILL of late Dr. Maurice Wohl, we must be convinced that you are who the testament says you are.
Based on the foregoing, please re-confirm to us the following informations; YOUR COMPLETE CONTACT DETAILS INCLUDING YOUR FULL NAME AND ADDRESS, TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS, AGE, SEX, OCCUPATION AND A SCANNED COPY OF YOUR IDENTIFICATION (DRIVER'S LICENSE OR PHOTO PAGE OF YOUR INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT). You are also to indicate if you changed residence within the last six months; (Indicate the old and new address accordingly) for verification with what I have in my file. Any difference or discrepancies in the information provided by you will imply that I have contacted the wrong person and will therefore cease all correspondence with you outrightly.
Be informed that the informations provided will be verified and confirmed by the Probate Department of the Royal Courts of Justice here in England, where a Probate Order will be rightly issued for your legal claim of this bequest/funds. This document, as well as a copy of the WILL of my Late Client; Dr. Maurice Wohl will then be released to you. This guarantees your status as the true beneficiary of my Late client's WILL and gives you the legal backing to receiving the funds.
It is hoped that the above requirements will be sent to us sooner than later to enable us proceed with the documentation. And note that we cannot send any document to you until we are fully convinced that you are the true beneficiary. As a practicing lawyer, you must be informed of the fact that I am on a very tight and busy schedule with regards to the various legal assignments handled by my humble self; therefore, I must crave your indulgence towards ensuring that this process is concluded speedily as time is of utmost essence to my profession.
I await your most urgent response.
Note: We are not demanding any money or form of payment from you for our service as we have been fully paid by my late client. All we need is for you to comply with our directives to make sure your funds are fully transferred.
Your's in service,
Barr. John Benson (Esq.)
Tel: +44-703-190-7669
(Managing Partner)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh shucks, I'm only 12 I don't have any identification. Oh my fucking gawd, and I please have the three million? Pretty please? ):
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
May I inform you that I have the complete details of the rightful beneficiary to this bequest in my Late client's beneficiary file, so please do not fool around with me except you are not the rightful beneficiary.
Therefore, I will once again advice that you get the requested informations to me immediately as I am only carrying out the mandate and brief as passed on to me by my Late client prior to his demise.
Your's in service,
Barr. John Benson (Esq.)
Tel: +44-703-190-7669
(Managing Partner)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Does that mean I can't get the money? Please i really need that 3 million dollars. I need to feed my family of hamsters, they need sunflower seeds. Please dear sir, I'm not fooling with you. I don't want my hamsters to be hungry. Sir have sympathy!
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Sunday, October 12, 2008
" Words, we could never find. "
" Who would you save first, if Mikey, Ray, Frank and Bob are drowning in the waters? "
" I'd jump down with them. "
" Awake, and unafraid "
I've been putting off blogging about graduation day for awhile, because I there's so many things to say, but when you actually want to have it said, it doesn't happen.
Huang lao shi was right, some things are left better unsaid.
I didn't think I'd feel so much for graduation day, but I did. I recalled lots of things, and my mind was swirling when the school song was playing, for that time, it truely felt different from every mundane tuesday. I thought about how much I'd miss my school, then I thought about my primary school, about how i missed it, and still do, about how everytime I walk past my primary school on my way home, I'd think about the times I've had with my friends.
" Brothers, for life. "
Then, I thought about all my secondary school friend, and the past 4 years. I want us to still be friends 4 years later, 14 years later, 40 years later.
" Seasons are changing, and waves are crashing. "
Secondary school had been a real blur, and I never really took time to really appreciate it. Maybe 10 years from now, I'd take out a yellowing photograph, and smile, and smile, and smile.
" Hallelujah. "
Secondary One was really good, and it finished as suddenly as it started. I rememeber most vividly about Ms ow, and her relentless questioning one morning. I remembered about how Sugan, me and Helios got into deep shit. I remembered how much fun literature had been. I remembered how i recieved my first literature test, and the first ever literature assignment. We were told to continue the story of The Landlady.
Secondary Two was just about as good. I started studying in secondary two, and there came mrs raj. Her literature lessons were admittedly more dour and less interesting, but her sincerity more than made up for it. She was forgiving, kind and very motherly. I don't remember much about secondary two, because it was so quick, I didn't have time to rememeber. The end of secondary two was really quite emotional. I guess people are actually closer to their lower secondary classes.
Secondary three and four, enter Ms Ng. She was one of the better physics teacher I've ever had. She was young and cheerful, and it was until last Friday that i realised that we actually meant so much to her.
" With a touch of your grace. "
She was understanding, and sometimes fun. I think she was the teacher that thought me the most, outside of the textbook. I remembered her pulling me out during motivational camp, and telling me about my flaws. I decided I'd try to change. I'll remember the quote you gave me.
" What if you're making me, more than I was meant to be. "
Brothers! You've made secondary school so fun, all the shit we've been through. Words simply doesn't suffice. I know you know how I'd feel, cause I know you'd feel the same as I.
NCC really thought me lots of things, so many i can't name them. NCC gave me the greatest of times. We enjoyed together and took shit togather. Man, those were the days I'm definitely going to miss.
I don't know where I'd be going after this, but I sure as hell won't forget anyone from zhonghua. It's kinda funny that we know we'd only appreciate something only after we've lost it, but we still don't start appreciating.
I'm not emo or shit, but this has got to be the most personal blog post I've every written.
" So long and goodnight, but there is no goodbye. "
" All the promises we adore. "
" I'd jump down with them. "
" Awake, and unafraid "
I've been putting off blogging about graduation day for awhile, because I there's so many things to say, but when you actually want to have it said, it doesn't happen.
Huang lao shi was right, some things are left better unsaid.
I didn't think I'd feel so much for graduation day, but I did. I recalled lots of things, and my mind was swirling when the school song was playing, for that time, it truely felt different from every mundane tuesday. I thought about how much I'd miss my school, then I thought about my primary school, about how i missed it, and still do, about how everytime I walk past my primary school on my way home, I'd think about the times I've had with my friends.
" Brothers, for life. "
Then, I thought about all my secondary school friend, and the past 4 years. I want us to still be friends 4 years later, 14 years later, 40 years later.
" Seasons are changing, and waves are crashing. "
Secondary school had been a real blur, and I never really took time to really appreciate it. Maybe 10 years from now, I'd take out a yellowing photograph, and smile, and smile, and smile.
" Hallelujah. "
Secondary One was really good, and it finished as suddenly as it started. I rememeber most vividly about Ms ow, and her relentless questioning one morning. I remembered about how Sugan, me and Helios got into deep shit. I remembered how much fun literature had been. I remembered how i recieved my first literature test, and the first ever literature assignment. We were told to continue the story of The Landlady.
Secondary Two was just about as good. I started studying in secondary two, and there came mrs raj. Her literature lessons were admittedly more dour and less interesting, but her sincerity more than made up for it. She was forgiving, kind and very motherly. I don't remember much about secondary two, because it was so quick, I didn't have time to rememeber. The end of secondary two was really quite emotional. I guess people are actually closer to their lower secondary classes.
Secondary three and four, enter Ms Ng. She was one of the better physics teacher I've ever had. She was young and cheerful, and it was until last Friday that i realised that we actually meant so much to her.
" With a touch of your grace. "
She was understanding, and sometimes fun. I think she was the teacher that thought me the most, outside of the textbook. I remembered her pulling me out during motivational camp, and telling me about my flaws. I decided I'd try to change. I'll remember the quote you gave me.
" What if you're making me, more than I was meant to be. "
Brothers! You've made secondary school so fun, all the shit we've been through. Words simply doesn't suffice. I know you know how I'd feel, cause I know you'd feel the same as I.
NCC really thought me lots of things, so many i can't name them. NCC gave me the greatest of times. We enjoyed together and took shit togather. Man, those were the days I'm definitely going to miss.
I don't know where I'd be going after this, but I sure as hell won't forget anyone from zhonghua. It's kinda funny that we know we'd only appreciate something only after we've lost it, but we still don't start appreciating.
I'm not emo or shit, but this has got to be the most personal blog post I've every written.
" So long and goodnight, but there is no goodbye. "
" All the promises we adore. "